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Its like we all made this unspokenagreement to not mention what happened, but to go on as though life wasperfectly normal. My step-dad actually seems a little wary of mybrother, so maybe that's what we've needed to do all along - kick hisbutt, and then he'd leave us alone. *****Have I mentioned yet how much I HATE getting erections? Most of thetime, I can almost pretend I dont have male bits, but when I get hard,its impossible to ignore, and it sucks, big time. I can't explain itright, but it just feels so WRONG somehow. Sometimes, the only way I canface the day is to pretend my clothes are girl clothes and that nobodynotices or minds. That's one of my big fantasies at night, to imagineI'll wake up as a girl and just have a normal day as one. I just dowhatever I would normally be doing, except I'm female. Then the guilthits, and I try and beat back the fantasy. I'm so tired of thisstruggle.******I know I don't write a lot about school, its cause I really don't have alot to say. It. My mind doesn't work so good these days that's why I'm writing this down. When I have an erection I have even more trouble.... So please forgive me. Anyway I hope no one is reading this as prep for their medical exams !Talking about hymens reminds me of this story... I had been at the Sanatorium a few weeks when I was summoned to appear before the Headmistress at Miss Belfree's School for Young Ladies which was the other side of town. I was quickly ushered into her office ."Doctor," She said. " I trust I can rely on your discretion, I should hate for this to leak out. It would ruin our reputation." Madam." I replied. "I can assure you as medical professional my lips are sealed. How can I help ?" Well," She whispered, "last night some boys were discovered, after lights out, in one of the dorms. I need you to check that all the girls are still 'intact'. So to speak." You mean virgins ?" I queried."Exactly." She explained, " These young ladies are all from wealthy homes. Their parents.
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